John Mulaney Roasts the Pope’s Brother for Constantly Talking to the Media
During tonight’s episode of Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney, the stand-up star and bizarro talk show host begged everyone to “stop texting me about the Pope” — and, while they’re at it, stop pretending that Louis Prevost should be on TV.
Last week, the College of Cardinals elected the first-ever American leader of the Catholic Church in a two-day conclave that made Pope Leo XIV, formerly known as Robert Francis Prevost, the most famous man in the world overnight. Seeing as Mulaney is famously both Chicago-born and Catholic-raised, the new Pope’s humble origins in Chicago’s southern suburbs may have excited the comedian, if Pope Leo XIV’s ascension didn’t simultaneously make his loud-mouthed, anti-woke and entirely unremarkable brother world-famous as well.
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On tonight’s episode of Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney, the grown-up altar boy, while sporting an inexplicable blind-fold over his eyes like he's the cardinal of Boston circa 2001, claimed that he “doesn’t care” that the Pope was born in his hometown, nor does he think that reporters should be on Louis Prevost’s porch every morning hoping that he’ll finally say something worth hearing.
“Guess who else I don’t need?” Mulaney continued in his irate opening monologue after the above clip cut off. “I don’t need to hear about the Pope’s brother anymore! At first it was like, ‘Oh the Pope has a brother, how interesting,’ and then, interview number 19!”
Mulaney pleaded to the press, “Enough with this fuckin’ guy, this Chicago guy on his porch.” Mulaney then joked about Prevost’s complete lack of charisma during his viral news segments, “Every interview looks like the reveal at the end of an episode of Catfish. He comes out of a screen door, ‘Yeah?’ He doesn’t wanna invite the cameras in, they don’t wanna go inside, this is not a good situation. I don’t need this cat in my life at all.”
“Hey, imagine there was a dude that’s suuuper boring, and he prays all day, and he has no life, and he’s never had sex,” Mulaney continued to rant about the Papal Family. “Hey, wanna meet his brother?”
Now, to the non-Pope Prevost’s credit, earlier this week, he promised to “tone it down” with his inflammatory Facebook posts and reactionary rhetoric — while giving an interview on Pierce Morgan Uncensored. So, until the Church holds another conclave, Mulaney might want some ear plugs to pair with that blindfold.
